Roxanne

Roxanne
You don't have to put on the red light
Those days are over
You don't have to sell your body to the night
Roxanne
You don't have to wear that dress tonight
Walk the streets for money
You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right
Roxanne
You don't have to put on the red light
So put away your make up……
After I retired as a model and was going around with Elsa Klensch of Style CNN, to the backstage of major fashion shows in Paris, London, Milan and New York, it was a revelation to me how much I was welcomed and accepted by the fashion designers and the fashion people I have worked with for many years. Each and everyone of the designers, even the big names like Karl Lagerfeld, Jean Paul Gaultier, Gianfranco Ferre, etc…acknowledged me and made the extra effort to comment on my presence. I told Elsa that I was pleasantly surprised. Here is what she told me. “Fashion people are comforted to see me. They feel that if I am okay, they will be okay, as well.” In a business where people are hanging on by the thread of ‘you’re IN or you’re OUT’, seeing someone move on and do very well seems commendable.
Retiring, or stopping whatever it is you used to do is difficult whether it is your choice or not. Habits are hard to be broken. Even older people in their golden years who are tired of working will miss their daily routine. Throwing myself into the fashion scene once again, I had to conform, but I did it with detachment. Yes, I had to look fashionable but as Sting says, “I did not have to put the red light on.” Funny, for someone who always tore up pictures or polaroids that did not present me in a good light, I was more tolerant of my failings this time. I had to interview girls that were probably 25 years younger than me. I would cringe when my cameraman, Mark Walker, would say, “move closer” so my face is framed with 16 and 17 year old girls’ faces - a tight shot. Oh no! My wrinkles, my age spots, my eyebags, my loose pores…. I did it anyway, with no fear.
How does it feel to know that you are not the most beautiful in a picture or a frame, when you are trained to be the most beautiful? How does it feel to be the foliage in a flower bouquet, the baby’s breath around the red roses, when you used to be the center flower? Well, now I know. Yes, we will all be in a different station in our lives, one way or another. But to face this fact 'full frontal' is a revelation. When I retired and the ‘model mafia’ of Linda, Naomi, Christy took over, I told myself that “What ever is happening to me will happen to all the girls…even Naomi.” It is an inevitable fact. Some fare better than others but it will come, just the same.
It is not enough that I had to agree to put myself in a tight television frame with 17 year old girls. Now I have to shoot a magazine cover while I am completely sick with bronchitis. It was a challenge. I knew my energy level would be low even though I could put it on anytime. My first shoot was a walk up to the 5th floor. “God, why are you punishing me this way?” As I was navigating the stairwell, one step at a time, I could feel the wheezing in my lungs.
A photographer has to orchestrate a combination of elements into one picture...hopefully a great one. These elements are: model pose, model energy, perfect make-up, perfect hair, styling that works, light and shadow, the mood, angle and perspective. Meaning, each hair in place, flawless make-up, the right lighting and the perfect angle, the exact glint in the eye of the model. A perfect picture happens in singular moments. It is best if at that very moment when a photographer can capture that perfect picture, all the other elements are perfect too....then magic happens.
A great picture only happens when everyone is on the same page; a photoshoot has to have great teamwork. Everybody in a photoshoot should do their jobs to perfection and JUST MAYBE…there will be a magical moment and the picture will look fabulous. When one party in a photoshoot slacks, there will be problems in the picture. And it is a pity, because maybe you have a great picture but the hair is in the face or the garment does not fit, or the lips are too red, or the model blinked. The stylist finally redeemed herself by adroitly taping the gown on me. Once the pictures go to the discerning eyes of magazine editors, the picture that will be chosen is the one with the least flaws and the most dynamic. So it is really the goal of a photo shoot to have the most number of pictures to choose from.
I really did not expect much from this photo shoot because as a model, you can always almost feel when it is a good shoot or not. I was skeptical that we would find a cover from this shoot because after working for many years and working with the very best photographers, lighting comes to me instinctively. The lighting was not set up for a cover shoot. Norrine, the photographer, kept asking me to look towards the light. I know this will never make the cover so I kept reminding her it is a cover shoot but I think her motivation was to get a good editorial picture. Covers need to have eye contact with the lens. I played along because in a photoshoot, photographers are the like conductors of an orchestra or the directors of a movie. They see the picture on the lens, while I, as a model, have only a instinctive visual imprint in my head.
When I saw the stills, one picture jumped out. I love this picture. I was really pleasantly surprised, for here was a magic moment. The perfect hand movement, feet off the ground as if I am floating, face relaxed, no tension on the mouth, splendid lighting, hair in place, great natural make-up. The best thing about this picture is that something is happenning.
Even if I have put away my make-up for a long stretch…I am consoled by the thought that I could still take good pictures. Even though I don't want to sell myself as a model anymore, I can still 'do classic'. No plastic surgery, no exercise, my undeniably more matured (a euphemism for older) looks.
I don't have to put on the red light.........put on the redput away my make-up…..put away my make-up….
light.








